


Retrouver

by Elsey8



Category: Persona 5
Genre: Again, Alternate Universe - Childhood Friends, Alternate Universe - Lawyers, Angst, Childhood Trauma, Enemies to Friends, Friends to Enemies, Friends to Lovers, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Retelling, and then!, basically an ace attorney au, eventually shh
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-01-28
Updated: 2021-01-28
Packaged: 2021-03-13 21:28:56
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,005
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29035461
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Elsey8/pseuds/Elsey8
Summary: Retrouver(fr.): To meet up with someone again/to see someone again after a long time/to find something that was lost.A retelling of Persona 5 if Akira and Goro were childhood friends, with a twist and continuation at the end. They become rivals in the courtroom.
Relationships: Akechi Goro/Kurusu Akira, Akechi Goro/Persona 5 Protagonist
Comments: 3
Kudos: 27





	Retrouver

**Author's Note:**

> Qarrtsiluni(verb): Sitting together in the darkness, perhaps expectantly (e.g., waiting for something to happen or to ‘burst forth’); the strange quiet before a momentous event.  
> Origin: Inuit, Iñupiaq

Akira is running away for the third time this month. He has his half ruined teddy bear clutched in one hand and a bag in his other. He has the essentials, like some snacks and water and a blanket. That’s all he really needs for now, since he probably won’t be gone long. 

The last time he ran away it took his parents two days to notice and another to find him. He was miles away with an older lady by then. It was her who called the local authorities to let them know she’d found him, while he was busy eating the pie she baked in her dining room. He chose the wrong ally, but otherwise he did much better than the first time he tried this month. 

That was just a disaster. 

This time he’s walking in the opposite direction as last time, further from the road as well. He tries to keep mostly to the wooded areas so it’s not as easy to spot him. He has no idea where he’s planning on going, but he rarely does. He doesn’t really expect to make it _away_ like he hopes. It doesn’t actually matter in the end, and Akira is content to just wander. 

Akira takes a protein bar from his bag and starts to eat it. The first day he always does the most walking, so although he stuffed himself before leaving it doesn’t hurt to eat here. 

He brought a good amount. He’ll be fine. It’s something he can afford right now. 

“Hey! You have snacks?” 

Akira freezes, glancing at the road only to find it’s empty. He looks further into the woods, watching a boy wave at him from knee deep in the creek. 

He looks a little older than Akira. Taller, definitely. Maybe skinnier, though. 

Akira doesn’t think he’s a threat. He doesn’t really seem like one, and he doesn’t seem to know who Akira is. He doesn’t recognize the boy either, which means he’s more than likely safe to interact. 

“I do,” Akira says back. 

He chose a bad ally last time, but kids are more gullible than adults. He may be able to be convinced yet. Not that Akira really needs help, but it doesn’t hurt either. 

“I’m Goro! Wanna play and eat together? We can trade snacks, I have some too.” 

Akira steps carefully down the hill, dropping his things half in a bush before he walks over to sit at the edge of the creek. Goro looks up at where he sits on his perch from the overhang, and he pouts with his cheeks puffed all the way out. 

“You’re meant to play _in_ the water,” Goro tells him. 

“I’m Akira,” he offers instead. 

Goro sticks his tongue out at him, and Akira just rests his chin in his hand and settles to watch. Goro seems...carefree enough. Maybe not well cared for either, Akira hasn’t decided on that front though. It’s hard to tell sometimes, and he needs to watch over the course of some time before he makes a real decision. 

If he can poke at an empathy spot, then he could sleep in a bed tonight rather than in the hollow of a tree or tucked in between the branches on top of one. He doesn’t really like the dark, he’d be grateful if he could avoid that. 

“Your name is nice,” Goro murmurs. 

“Liar,” Akira calls out. 

“What?”

“I don’t know why you thought you needed to lie to me there, but it’s fine. You don’t have to compliment me on something you don’t have to. You don’t have to try and flatter me or anything.” 

“How did you know I lied?”

Akira tilts his head one way and then the other. He slides down from his spot to at least dip his toes in the water. It’s a little cold, but not too bad. 

“I can just tell. Your voice was off from the way you were talking before, like if you made it seem like an off comment I wouldn’t notice you didn’t mean it.” 

“You’re smart,” Goro compliments. 

“That was the truth,” Akira confirms. “Thanks.” 

“Are you gonna play with me or not?” 

Akira drops fully into the water and splashes Goro. 

Goro downright shrieks, shaking his hair out and brushing the water off of his face. He’s pouting even worse now, and Akira just dodges out of the way when he tries to splash him back. Akira has tried to play like this with other kids before, and they usually get on his nerves. He finds this is actually fun though, and seeing the look on Goro’s face makes it all worth it. He wouldn’t mind splashing one another and trying to catch bugs or whatever it is Goro would want to do. 

Goro is shivering, though. Now that Akira is closer he can read the hunger in his cheeks, the exhaustion under his eyes, and the general miscare judging by the poorly healed over scab on his elbow. He knows there’s probably only so long they can stay here, like this. 

So he takes the chance. 

“I ran away,” Akira blurts. 

This may be his best shot yet. He rarely gets these opportunities, where he finds someone who might really help him. Even when he does, it’s so hard to take advantage of. 

People aren’t constants.

Akira can do business with the worst of them, but he’s awful with the rest.

Goro is...something else, Akira thinks. Caught somewhere in between, and Akira isn’t quite sure how to deal with that. Goro is the picture perfect happy child at a first glance, all peppy and wanting to play with a kid around his age. But he lies without thinking, and there’s something about him that makes Akira think he’s not...the best definition of good. Still, it’s clear he’s not bad either, he still seems trusting and childish. 

Quiet didn’t work with him, and being upfront only half worked. 

Calling him out seemed to do the most. Something about the truth resonated with him. 

Akira can use that, he thinks. He doesn’t know how yet, but he takes the advantage to hold onto anyway. 

“You did?” Goro asks, quiet. 

Like it’s a secret. 

So Akira leans in closer and he nods. 

“I run away a lot,” he whispers, the admission hanging in the air. 

“Why?”

It’s the first time anyone has ever asked him why. 

Usually it’s just a lot of yelling, a lot of, “ _How could you worry your parents like this?_ ”

“Because...it’s the only way to get them to look at me,” he explains slowly. 

“Who?”

“My parents. They’re not home a lot. They don’t notice me a lot. They make it easy to run away. It’s not like they notice for a while anyway.”

“You’re the boy who’s always missing!” 

Akira wonders how fast it would take him to run. He has to consider it for a moment. It’s always worse when he gets caught as compared to going back on his own. 

Goro is taller than him, but Akira is faster than anyone at his school. He worked hard to make it that way. He doubts Goro would be able to chase him, but they’re close right now and Akira would need to grab his things before he just up and ran. 

How long would that take? Goro doesn’t have a phone to call the police. He’d need to get to the closest house which is across the street. 

Akira could be _gone_ by then. 

He flicks his eyes back to Goro and lets the tension fall from his shoulders. This isn’t a problem. This is something he can handle if he needs to. 

“And?” he challenges. 

“I thought I recognized you, and now I remember.” Goro beams at him. “You’re my hero!” 

“What?”

Goro grabs his hands and jumps up and down, splashing water everywhere. 

“You run away a lot! You’re always on the news, and the bulletin. I feel like I see you everywhere! And everyone is always talking about how hard it is to find you, and I just think you’re super cool! So slippery, like...like a thief or something!”

“That’s not very heroic,” Akira points out. 

“You might not think so, but I do. You don’t get to make fun of me for admiring you.” 

Akira pulls his hand away from Goro and glances down and to the left. What does he do now? 

“Let’s play tomorrow,” Akira says carefully, backing out of the creek. 

“Here?”

“Here is good, around this time too. I’m going home.” 

“I thought you were running away?”

Akira slides his shoes back on, shifting his weight back and forth until it isn’t as uncomfortable since his feet are wet. He cradles his teddy bear in the crook of his arm and throws his bag over his shoulder. Which way did he come from? They’re on the right side of the road, so he has to follow it backwards to make it home. Straight, straight, left, left, then straight at the intersections. 

Akira turns back to Goro and waves. 

“Not today. Maybe tomorrow!” 

He goes home. His parents are none the wiser when they come home, and even less so when he repacks and leaves again the next morning. 

Goro isn’t in the creek when Akira gets there the next day, although he’s still laid out on Akira’s previous perch. He doesn’t look nearly as happy as yesterday, his hands raised up to cover his face and his shoulders pulled up in tension. 

“Bad day?” he calls, sliding down the hill and skipping forward on his momentum for a few steps. 

Goro watches it all closely, something unreadable in his sharp gaze, and then he sits up. He pushes his hair away from his face, revealing a nasty looking bruise on his cheekbone. 

“Ouch. That’s not a good spot,” Akira comments. 

He drops his bag beside the overhanging rock before climbing atop it. Goro just moves over to make the room. 

“Did...who hurt you?” Akira asks. 

Goro pulls his knees to his chest and he doesn’t answer at first. Actually, he doesn’t answer for a long time. It’s only their second meeting, so Akira decides it’s probably just him being shy. Goro doesn’t seem like the quiet type in general. 

Akira watches the creek in the meantime, the water moving beneath them. He wants to pull Goro in to play in it again. 

That was actually fun. Akira hasn’t had fun in a long time, he hasn’t even had a real friend since…

Well, it’s best not to think about it. 

“No one important,” Goro murmurs. 

“Are you sure?”

“Just some random kids.” 

Akira watches Goro for a lie, but he doesn’t read one. It must be neglect at home for Goro, then. Akira didn’t see any marks on him before either, but that doesn’t mean much because some days are worse. Some months are worse. Sometimes things are better for so long it’s easy to forget they were ever bad. 

Until they go back again, worse than before. 

Akira decides he’ll keep an eye on it for now. 

“Did you catch their names?”

Akira knows how to throw a punch. Akira knows how to do a little of everything, be a little better at a lot more than most people. It’s a mix of his own determination, and his parents wanting a perfect child. If he can’t do everything, what worth does he have? 

So Akira can fight, and he’s fast. Even if the kids are big, there’s probably something he could do about them for Goro. 

“No,” Goro sighs. 

“Did you see what they looked like?”

Akira knows a lot of people. He’s good at watching, at memorizing what people look like and who they are and how important they are and exactly what they want out of him. 

He’s already found Goro’s mother, placed him low in his mental list in order of importance because of it, and high in his order of personal attachment. 

Akira knows a lot of unpleasant children, and if Goro gives him something he can track them down. He doesn’t forget faces. 

Goro is more pleasant than the good majority of people Akira knows. 

“Not really,” Goro grumbles. “It happened too fast.” 

“Too bad.” 

Akira takes Goro’s face in his hands to inspect the bruise. It doesn’t look great, and with Goro moving around as much as he is it’s hard to get a good look. It looks like it might give him a black eye, and if it’s already bruising it must be relatively old. 

“When did it happen?” Akira asks, checking the sun. 

Hardly afternoon, his parents won’t be home for a while still. He could probably get Goro back to his place for supplies and bring him back home and then head back himself before his parents even got back. 

If Akira can’t get revenge for him, the least he can do is clean up the aftermath. 

“While I was going home yesterday.”

“Stop moving,” Akira chastises. 

Goro stills, and Akira starts to massage gentle circles around the edges of the bruise. Blood circulation is key, and in the lack of anything cold to put on it to reduce swelling, this also works. 

Thankfully, Goro lets him do it with minimal complaining outside the occasional hiss or groan of pain. He doesn’t move away at least. 

Akira doesn’t stop until Goro relaxes, pitching forward to lean against him. He is vulnerable, it’s so easy to see. It’s written in his posture, every inch of his body screams that he’s an easy target. He’s decently big, but he wears his weaknesses on his sleeve. 

Akira is used to being torn apart for the same things. 

“You messed up,” Akira tells him calmly. 

“What?”

Goro looks slightly hurt, so Akira places his teddy bear in his lap. He leans off the rock to grab his bag and pull it up with them, throwing a candy bar at Goro and taking dried plums out to snack on himself. He’s planning on going back tonight, so he can afford the waste. 

“I said you messed up,” he repeats. 

“I heard you,” Goro snaps back. 

Good. That sharpness will be useful going forward. 

Akira smiles a little, watching Goro angrily take a bite out of his candy bar and chew it loudly in front of him. His hair is obscuring the bruise on his face now, and his eyes burn just a little hotter underneath the curtain of his bangs. 

This rose has thorns, after all. 

“You need to get stronger. Not physically, even. That’s harder, that can feel too hard when...well I meant mentally though. In your head, you’re too fragile.”

“I’m not fragile,” Goro argues, petulant and weak. 

“That’s exactly what I’m talking about. You’re not going to get anywhere like that. People don’t like bratty little kids.” 

Goro’s expression smooths over. Annoyance melts into something more neutral, and his shoulders hunch in. He makes himself smaller, and it’s not quite what Akira was aiming for but at least he’s listening. 

“People like to feel...heard. Understood. Better than, adored. People are so very often an arrangement of personalities that can’t truly be matched step for step. But there are patterns at least, where there is any repetition there will always be patterns that form. That’s one of the first things I learned, to look for those patterns.”

Goro sets the candy bar down on his knee, half eaten. He takes one of Akira’s plums, and doesn’t get halfway back to his mouth with it. 

Akira is too fast for him in taking it back, stronger enough to wrench it from his grip and pop it in his own mouth. 

“You’re bossy. You like to be in charge,” Goro accuses. “You’re the happiest when you have control.”

“Now you’re thinking like me.”

Goro smiles halfway like him, eyes sparking just a little. 

They get to play Akira’s game this time. Akira misses Goro’s game a little, but this is what he’s good at anyway. 

“Why should I give you what you want though?” Goro asks. 

“Think of it as gaining an upper hand. If you can’t have the physical one, knowing how to people please gives you...superpowers.” 

“I’m not a baby,” Goro sighs. 

“Liar,” Akira responds. 

“That’s not a lie!”

Akira shrugs. 

“It was a lie for you. You’ve been looking at me this whole time and you looked away at that even though you were talking right to me. I wouldn’t know that if I didn’t pay so much attention to you. It’s like a special power I get the more I watch.”

Something goes off in Goro. A realization that widens his eyes, that has him shifting and breaking eye contact for just a moment. 

Fear? Akira isn’t sure what makes him look away, but usually it’s fear. People don’t like being looked at so closely. 

Akira wonders if being seen is scaring Goro.

“That’s why you’re good at running away,” Goro says. 

“Yes.” 

“You remember it all. Every time you do it you learn more, right? You’re just getting better at it.”

“I have a lot of skills. This is the one I’m best at,” Akira admits. 

Akira can do something over and over. He has endless patience, there is very little that can make him falter in anything. Harder than a brick wall, he’d compare it more to iron. He’s been praised for it before, and it’s something he can take some pride in. 

Running away does a lot for him with few repercussions. His parents don’t like it, sure, but most of the time the police don’t have to drag him back anymore. If he comes back on his own and nobody noticed anyway, why would they need to care? 

Everything is about image. It’s about manipulating other people’s cognition of you into what you want it to be, and if Akira can be an independent child in their eyes it’s just for the better anyway. If he was needy, that would create more problems for them, he knows they prefer this. He’s tried on so many different children to be for them, and this is the only one he can stand and they can tolerate. He had to adapt somehow, and this has worked for him so far. Being himself isn’t an option for him. 

He’s learned a lot from his outings. This is his way to meet with people outside his bubble, to learn about the world, to memorize each corner of his town. People have their usual spots, he knows their ramen place has specials when it rains, and whenever he goes missing for too long there are usually posters right on the bulletin. 

Edging on the outskirts of the town is more dangerous, but he knows how to survive in the wilderness decently. He knows shelter, he knows how to start fires, he knows all the things that impress people at parties. Survival skills he needs that his parents like to show off. 

Goro doesn’t know any of this. He doesn’t know the use of having different faces, he has no idea that survival amongst the wolves that people are requires knowledge in how to please them. He may be learning about the hierarchy relating to physical strength, but there is so much more than that. 

“Are you going to teach me?” Goro asks. 

The answer should be no. Nobody should need to learn the things Akira has, and even now he knows that. He knows he grew up way before he was supposed to, he knows that most people his age don’t know even a fraction of what he does. Akira thinks he never really got to grow comfortably, and he doesn’t think that’s good. 

The last thing he wants is to pull Goro down with him if he doesn’t have to, but he has a bad feeling about Goro. He’s a really good liar, and he’s a bit worried that he’s already well aware of how to fake lies. Akira’s done it, forced out something like a tell to fabricate a pattern that he’s never shown. It makes it easier to get away with lies when they do matter. 

Maybe he’s looking too much into it. Or maybe he’s already missed a good number of lies. 

He can’t tell, not yet. 

He’s pretty sure Goro isn’t dangerous at least. Not for him. 

“Yes,” Akira answers anyway. 

They keep meeting. It’s not always every day, although Akira shows up at their spot every day without fail. It’s a nice spot. The creek is a running water source, the trees are nice to climb, and he can choose to go into town or further into the woods from there. 

Goro is a good actor, once Akira hands the tools to him. He’s already pretty good at lying, and acting is just an extension of that. Acting is lying with every last inch of yourself. With your body, your eyes, every extension of yourself becomes fake. 

Sometimes Akira forgets who he actually is when he’s acting. He has to peel back each of his masks and worry that once he gets to the end of them, there won’t be anything. 

He watches it consume Goro just the same. 

Goro is a big wide eyed little kid and he has to act the helpless part. Akira watches tears fill his eyes, then panic. 

“Why am I crying?” Goro asks him, fat tears rolling down his cheeks. “I’m not...I’m not actually upset.”

Goro reaches up to wipe at them, but chokes on a sob and is ultimately unable to stop the flow. He buries his face in his hands and trembles with his own cries, where Akira can’t do much more than rub his back. 

“You’re a natural at this,” he praises.

When Goro has to act angry, he gets angry. When he has to act any type of way, it actually changes his mood. Akira watches his fury, his joy, his sorrow, his exhaustion, his agony. He takes in each emotion carefully, settling it by his heart and telling Goro each time that he’s good at this, he’s learning, everything is fine.

Akira is scared he’s lying. 

At first Akira could still read Goro’s genuine emotions, he could still separate what was real and what was fake. There was still a line there, a careful divide between Goro and Goro’s acting. 

Goro has kicked at the line over and over, and now even Akira can’t see it anymore. 

Akira doesn’t know if there’s anything under Goro’s lies anymore. He doesn’t know if there ever was. 

He worries he’s taught Goro a bad skill. 

It’s too late anyway. 

Goro is who he is now, and Akira likes Goro, whoever that may be. 

Akira lies to his parents every time he looks at them and doesn’t dare mutter anything about Goro. Goro is his everything at this point, and not talking about him is a lie in itself. Akira has never been so interested in someone before, never wanted to run away with someone else before. 

Goro can keep up with him now. Whatever else, Goro is someone Akira can run away with if he wants to. They could do it. Akira thinks they should go Southeast, make their way to the station and just hightail it. It would be the first time he left with no intention of coming back, but he thinks they could manage it. People are easily manipulated by baby faces, and he thinks if they got far enough away they could escape the missing reports. Kids go missing all the time, what are two faces like theirs in the end? 

Akira’s parents wouldn’t notice before it was too late. He doesn’t know a lot about Goro’s side of things, but whoever he has doesn’t seem to mind him spending so much time away from home. Whoever he has doesn’t seem to care much to feed or care for him properly, doesn’t even make him get good rest. Whoever he has can’t be all that great, because Goro directs things in rather than out. Goro flinches away from conflict, he lies about things that don’t need lies, and whatever Akira has taught him is no worse than what he already knew when they met. 

Whoever Goro has can’t be too difficult to leave behind. Akira thinks he can convince Goro to leave, to choose him over them. 

It’s easy enough to choose Goro over everyone else Akira has ever known, after all. Why wouldn’t it be the same the other way around? 

Akira is waist deep in the creek with Goro, calming down from their splash fight. There wasn’t really a winner, mostly because Goro cheated and Akira refuses to accept the victory he’s claiming anyway. They usually play rough, but when things go too far they never declare a winner like between the two of them they’re trying to discourage the behavior. 

Goro has a scar over his chin from the last time they played too rough like that and Goro hit his chin hard on the overhang rock. He wasn’t doing so good for a few days. He couldn’t get it treated for a while, and Akira could tell he was in pain no matter how many faces he plastered on over it. No amount of cute bandaids and pain relievers could hide that it was bad. 

When he did go to the hospital, he looked tired. More tired than Akira has ever seen him. 

He’s smiling here and now, hair dripping wet onto his bare shoulders. It’s warm enough to go swimming in the creek, which isn’t the best place to go swimming but it’s _their_ place so it’s perfect. 

“Goro, let’s run away,” Akira blurts. “Both of us. For real this time.”

He means it. He’s ready. His plan is still only half formed, but he can work on it if Goro wants him to. They’re smart, he thinks they can definitely do it. Akira is good with people, and Goro is getting there. Goro is good with facts, and Akira is getting there too. 

If they’re doing this, he wouldn’t need much more though. He just needs some more information, a good while to put things together, and they can just go. Away from this. Somewhere they don’t need to put up these acts anymore. 

Akira wants it so bad, and it’s been such a long time since he’s let himself want anything. He picks and chooses, and when he really sets his sights on something there’s very little that can get in his way. Akira is immoveable, and he is unstoppable. It’s something people don’t like, so he tries not to be too stubborn most of the time. He’s let so many things go that he wished he could hold onto. But this is different. 

He’s chosen this, he wants this. 

It just depends on Goro’s answer.

“Please,” Goro murmurs. 

They look at one another, and it’s quiet. The water rushes past them, and Goro is still panting from their water fight. Akira is pretty sure his nose might still be bleeding, because he still can taste blood. 

And then Goro jumps almost into his arms. They hug like that for a long time, holding onto each other so tight it’s almost painful. It doesn’t matter. It could be the worst hurt Akira has ever felt, and he still wouldn’t want to let go. 

“I’ll take care of it,” Akira promises. 

“I’m older, I shouldn’t rely on you.”

“I don’t care. I’ll put the plan together, I’ll get the things, you just...you just need to come with. You just need to be _you_ , from now on.” 

Whoever that is, anymore. Akira won’t care, whoever Goro is underneath it all is still the Goro who did all of this with him. He is still the Goro who reminded Akira that there is more to life than just being alive. 

Akira starts with a mental list of supplies. He maps their pathing in his head when he goes out every day. He has a good basis for a plan in his head, and he thinks they can certainly do this. All that’s left is time, and some minor fixes depending on what Goro thinks of it all. 

But Akira doesn’t get any further than that in his plan, because then Goro is just _gone_. 

His mother...dies. Akira doesn’t get the details no matter who he tries to manipulate for them. There’s nothing in the news about it even, and trying to check their apartment turns up nothing. 

All he gets are off comments about Goro going to stay with his father, all the way in Tokyo. A father Goro never mentioned, in Tokyo which is just so...Away. Goro got away, but Akira is still here. 

The threads he finds leftover for him don’t do him any good. Goro didn’t leave him with enough to _follow him._

He’s left grasping at the strings that were cut between them and he can’t get a good grip on any of them. He’s left behind, confused and...stuck. 

Akira is still stuck. 

Akira is still left. He’s still here. He’s the remainder. The ghost, the imprint, what’s leftover when you strip someone of all of their parts. 

He’s been tucked away in the box at the bottom of the stack in the very corner of the attic, left to be forgotten. To gather dust for the rest of time, to hope to be pulled out one day if just to be thrown away. 

He wishes it were any other way. It would be better to be thrown away. 

He gave Goro everything he had left. He thinks Goro took it with him when he left. 

Akira feels...nothing. He’s empty finally, carved out to hollow and resigned. 

It’s at that point that he stops bothering to run away. 

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading! Don't have much for now, this is just something I had to get out the inspiration was eating me alive  
> Talk to me on [Twitter](https://twitter.com/Gillian01430581)


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